Ten percent feels right
I was out with two former colleagues yesterday. Same thing a couple of months ago, but from another workplace. And last month with three friends from my childhood.
All these people have one thing in common. They make up about ten percent of the total group of people I spent time with during each of those periods.
Is it because of common interests? Somewhat, but it’s far from the whole answer. Maybe because of distance? Nope, these people are scattered across quite a large area.
I believe it comes down to the Swedish term lagom (just the right amount). Not in terms of the actual number of people, but how much time we spend together. We talk, text, and meet in a way I feel is lagom.
As soon as I feel a kind of neediness in people, that constant pull for attention and interaction, I keep my distance. Otherwise, I get drained. It gets too much for me to handle.
So I’m subconsciously cautious, guided more by feelings than facts.
And somehow, it lands at ten percent being lagom.